Thursday, January 22, 2009

Pun.

We are a group of four friends who call this highly bracketed clan as the "Inner Circle(I.C)". All of the four are single, and are, when one, able to defiantly destruct any opponent or difficulty in our way. The foundations for the establishment of this clan took place sometime half a decade back in a shady place in the middle of one of the chilliest nights in the recorded history of the region(I swear no exaggeration has been used).

One of the member is me.(No introductions)
Second is a person "bevda" when roughly translated it becomes "Drunkard"
Third is "bava" (We are sorry for having hurt some religious sentiments)

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And the fourth one is our area of concern for this post. I shall not take names but we call him the "Karan johar, Elton John and Manish malhotra of our group( I do support gay marriages...but just hope my friend's does not happen to be one....we plan on hitting on his wife actually)

He could have been the most difficult puzzle to solve if he was not to be a real person. But fortunately for some(read:--- parents, deodorant companies, moisturizer companies, manicure/pedicure parlors, manufactures of everything in this world that is colored pink) and unfortunately for others(read:---We his friends, his sister--he finishes up her make up products before she could even open then, manufacturers of condoms, manufacturers of everything in this world that is not colored pink) he has been a real person, and a real nightmare to reckon with. You might have started to believe that he is probably gay but friends he is not.

" There is a difference between being a metro sexual and a homosexual", that's what he says to us when we accuse him of being a fairy. I personally will not be able to distinguish between the two of them if presented with the case in hand to differentiate.

He has been a man whose words are always shrouded in the deepest and the most complicated forms of mysteries. He may tell you one thing but what he really says is never even close to the words that he has uttered. It takes either, intelligence of the alien kind or years of having being bitterly proved wrong about believing what he says for a million times before, to start learning to encipher his ciphered statements.

Some of the instances where you should be competent enough to hear the words unsaid are:---

1) He says "I will be there in 2 mints"
He means" I am going to be out of my bed in 20,then need to do the following before i get there:---
---> Brush my teeth
--->Comb my hair
--->Find a pink t shirt i haven't worn for the past year
--->Re-brush my teeth
--->Put my clothes on(approx 45mints)
--->Ask my servant if he has any work to do.Then ask my parents,sister,neighbor and re ask my servant if i could do a chore for them.
--->Admire my selves in the mirror(approx 53 mints)
--->Start finding my bike keys(in the meanwhile re brush,take bath,go to loo and apply 5 different types of perfumes and call it "MULTITASKING")
--->Start the bike and go to the gas station to get some fuel.
--->Think about the time elapsed since having received the call asking him to come to a certain place. If less than 3 hours and 45 mints have passed make sure they have.
--->After the time period call my friend and shout at him asking"Where the hell are you???" (The motive of shouting is to stun my friend making sure he does not get the opportunity to complain about me being late)
--->Appear at the venue with a straight face and join in the conversation which is being repeated for the 5th time since i got out of bed....some 4 hours ago)


2) He says "He is going to be pitch drunk by the end of the night"
He means " I am gonna make sure you guys dont remember your bloody names before the night ends...you guys are gonna drink till death tonight but i am on coke as of this night"

3) He says " I wanna buy myselves a pair of jeans,will you accompany me?"
He means " I have searched every store in the town for one jeans but i couldnt find any. I used to go with Mr. X but he dropped dead on the 21st mall just when i was about to try out my 21,001 piece. I cant go alone now and will you please agree to drop dead next????"

4) He says"I loved the movie's storyline"
He means "I liked the movie because the actor had shaved his chest, the girl proposes to the boy and not the other way around, the actor wears pink apparels throughout the movie, there is no violence in the movie, there are 12 romantic song and dance numbers in the flick, the actor is probably sharukh khan, john abraham of bobby deol, the actor wears chinese boots(a term coined, used and patented by him),all of my friends came to this movie because they were too drunk to be anyplace else and slept throughout the movie and cannot comment anything on it....so i believe stronglt it had a strong storyline.

5)He says" I hated the movie"
You should understand"It was a war movie where the chest hair shaven hero dies in the climax"


These are just some parts of the saga i have put to print.There are many instances which cannot be told here because he would be probably sued for being"unloyal to his manhood" and we wont want that to happen. Hope you read this and realise that you realise you are a man in a woman's body and not vice versa. Until the next segment...cheers!!!

1 comment:

AJIT DEVASIA said...

I want more of it damn it