Friday, August 27, 2010

The other side of me.

In this life i thought of myself as a man who stood by his principles, who never compromised on his self-respect, who saw the world,always, through his lenses. Today after 22 years of existence the truth dawns. I was never the person i thought i was. I never loved myself. I never was a violent man. I was always "I". And how i failed to recognize myself. They say the biggest mysteries of life unravel, either when you are in loo or when you are drunk. I am currently satisfying both the pre-requisites so i can't be wrong this time.

I fell in love well ahead of time. I started to smoke when my lungs were not developed. I drank when my liver was still getting it's allocated RBC's. A moving target, a mirage, the past me, today is replaced by a man. A man who better recognizes himself, and thus better understands the world. A man who never cared, but always thought he did. The man is no more the child he was born. Today he evolved. And how he regrets his moves, he cant put in black and white.

Why i ask did i say "Yes"? Why i ask did i say "Go on"? Why did i say "let go"? Why did i say"I am fine"? Oh, fuck, why did i say "It does not make a difference", when my soul was being ripped into two?

The past can never live/leave me.I never shall regret my mistakes, for they were mine. I shall regret the lies i told myself. In the race, somewhere i lost myself. In the cascade i was just another drop. I shall be back. And if past is something to go by, I shall be better. Start the timers, darlings!

A renovated being.
Shriram Ramesh.

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